Monday, 5 August 2013

All is fair in love and war

We fell in love the minute my boyfriend introduced us to each other, I tried to ignore the sound of my heart beating so fast, hide the sparkle in my eyes, a voice in my head just kept screaming, but I was blown away of the beauty of his eyes that I couldn't understand a word of what my head was trying to tell me.

I couldn't stop thinking about those eyes, those lips, the smile...*sigh* thinking about it just took me to another land. and then I wake up and find someone who still loves me sitting right across the room, I tried to hold my feelings, at least freeze those feelings, but every time my boyfriend kissed me I tasted someone else lips. I was ashamed of myself, I felt guilty but this fantasy wouldn't go away.

he started showing up at parties, gatherings, and while hanging out, we became good friends, but deep inside, I wanted to rip his shirt off and kiss that hot body of his. I knew how to hold myself, respect the man I was with, so I kept it all to myself, even though it was eating me alive.

My boyfriend was too busy to take me out on my birthday, so my hot friend did, we had a couple of drinks, talked alot, about family, friends, work, and life. then he drove me home. yes we kissed.

  I couldn't bear the thought of what I did. so I had to put a stop to this and end our friendship. But that didn't help either, The guilt kept on coming back in my dreams, and I felt so disappointed of myself, I couldn't tell a soul. I was so ashamed. so I ended it also with my boyfriend. I had to break up with him, because even if I tell the truth and hurt him a bit I can't also lie that I didn't have feelings for the guy, and that would hurt him even more.

2Months later the hot guy called, finally. He was all over my dreams, all over my day dreams, he asked me out on a proper date, saying he would understand if i say no, knowing i broke up with my boyfriend a couple months ago. I was shameless, but no one knew the real story, I understand that it's really me the bad person here, but I did not mean to kiss him, and I did not want to hurt anyone, and I was the one ended up being hurt, I hurt my boyfriend by breaking up with him but those last couple of months were all about skipping my birthday and forgetting all about our three years anniversary, he was so caught up in his work that he forgot about me, maybe I am selfish but I cannot control real feelings I have.

Hottie took me to the beach, played me music and sang to me. He was interested in every thing I do and I was interested in everything he does. We wanted to be together we wanted to love eachother we wanted to support eachother. Not to support the relationship but to support eachother. We needed eachother and we were there for eachother. We became a WE in no time, we did not plan for it, we did not ask for it. We spent almost everyday together even if we were doing nothing but just the fact that he was there by my side made me feel so safe, I never wanted to let go of his hand. We went to the movies, skating, shopping, bowling, clubbing never tired of eachother, never bored, didn't fight. We were so happy. It was pure love, it was real love
We respected eachother, understood eachother, loved eachother. We took care of eachother, always there for eachother, listened to eachother. This love fulfilled every inch of our hearts. Never wanted more, didn't want any less.

I went away for work, we knew how easy it was for us to live in a long distance relationship. I still had one dream to accomplish and that job had it. I was so pressured with work and had no time to talk on the phone or text anymore. He got bored, he needed me and I wasn't there. I couldn't do anything about it. I had to do it. So he left. Not alone

(His wedding is tomorrow.)

And from that i came to learn WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND. Karma is a bitch.
I left someone because he was too busy for me and once I found my one and only I was too busy for him so he left.

We both still love each other. But so many things happened that we just cannot get back to each other

I saw him a month before his wedding, it was weird we saw love again. Knowing this love will never happen again. His wife to be seems nice. He admit he loves her. But what made me tear up was when he said not her not anyone will ever be you. And what we had was so special it comes to you once in a life time. We will never forget each other. Not a day come by without thinking about each other. Forever our love will be hidden in our hearts

P.S : All pictures are by Shamekh Bluwi

No comments:

Post a Comment